it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
