Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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