i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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