Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
