My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
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