I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
