oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
