For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
