Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
