if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
