Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
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That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
