Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
