i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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