No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
