I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
