Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm both gender and math confused
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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