none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
