i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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