Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
