I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
