Kareoke will never be a sober sport
tell your sister to shave her snatch
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
vagina is talking i cant
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
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