You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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