Swine flu. Run for my life!
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
