you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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