Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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