pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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