oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
