All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Randomize
