I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
