I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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