to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
