We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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