What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Randomize
