Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
