Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
