gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
