ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize