Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
