this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
