Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
