4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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