There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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