found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
