I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
