Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
