I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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