so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
