Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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