are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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