You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize
