you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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