She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize