Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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