i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize