Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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