sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
