rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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