i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
if only i could text you this smell
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
