bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
