I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
