we have pet lesbian snakes
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize