Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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