normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
