Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
