Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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