I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
