i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
