I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
