Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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