i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
