What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
