Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
