So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
