Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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