I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize