i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
There r osticjed everywhere
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
