I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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