So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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