just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Do you remember whose house we're in?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Oh god it's open bar.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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